Dog procedures

[Oscar]

Went out for a morning hunt with the flattie and though we saw sign, the combination of temperature and wind ( 2C and between 20-30kmph) I think kept everything bedded down. However what the day did provide was a reminder about the golden dog rules -

1. If there is something dead and rotting, a dog must roll in it.
2. The muddier and smellier the dog is, the closer they want to get to the boss.
3. Jumping into a icy, muddy creek in is great fun adds to point 2 but boss does not seem to appreciate your efforts
4. Not being able to ride in the cabin area of the Ute with the boss and being relegated to the back of the Ute ( despite being fully enclosed) is not appreciated seeing how my effort has gone into point 1 and 3.
5. When you get home the boss has the audacity to wash away points 1 and 3 with warm water bath, you wriggle, whine and look for the doggie UN number to lodge a complaint about this clearly torturous treatment you are receiving!
6. Withdraw complaint to doggie UN, cause boss gave you a liver treat after bath

[SPEEDY]

That doesn't happen to my dog, she turns her nose up at rotten smelly things, won't touch cold water, wont go out in the wet unless pushed and refuses to go on the back of ute if theres a nice warm cabbin to sit in.